Real Motivation…Not Your Usual Watered Down…Hype…Part 2

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I want to offer my sincere appreciation for the abundance of love shown…on the first real motivation…a month or so ago.

This I suppose…is…a diversification of those words…brought back to life by the ones in the post directly below.

In that last utterance…I kept banging on about breaking it down…so…why stop at just one area?

What about in general…what about…the baby steps?

A phrase I may overuse to an annoying extent this post…and maybe in everyday life as well…but…a phrase still unconditional in achievement…none the less.

Baby steps are transferable to the real world…into each and every single one of our lives…on a daily basis.

Whether it’s exercise…fitness…mental health…relationships…careers…or anything in between… it’s…all…still consequential.

They hold the power to progressive prosperity in all controllable areas of our being.

Where I differ with the conventional interpretation of “Baby steps” is by suggesting that they are in fact…the actual steps.

The legitimate…truth…blueprint…foundation…and necessity…of any endeavour we pursue…no matter our level or experience.

To me I see them as the required fundamentals that need to be consistently revisited…above all else…indefinitely.

Having that ideology continually at the forefront of our minds…I personally believe to be one of the most beneficial proprietaries possible for any advancement…in any way…in any person…in…general.

It may be a strange topic to post about for some…but…still…the way my mind has to think in my clinic…and…the reason people will come to me for various problems fixing…instead of just randomly knocking on their neighbour’s front door for help.

More importantly I write this for myself though…as a reminder…that none of us will ever be above having to hear this message.

Hear me out?

Look at it this way…what does a baby do…it progresses.

It learns…it grows…it…develops…continuously.

Doesn’t do it overnight…but over extended periods of time…over sustained instances of learning and failure…which amalgamate and culminate into a success…a forward progression.

You…I…him…her…were all babies weren’t we?

Our key to amelioration in adulthood…really…was given to us right there in those first few years of life…illuminating the routes to accomplishment…achievement…and gain…from there on in…for the rest of our days.

A child first starts to learn and perfect how to crawl…before they learn how to stand…they then have to learn how to balance and stand…before they learn how to walk?

From walking it’s running…then…on to further stimuli…which for advancement will naturally require further intrinsic and extrinsic needs.

It is a cycle of sustained resiliency in the name of constant progression…developed…from exploration…expression…free will…inquisitiveness…adaptability and most importantly…failure.

Getting up every time we fall down…never giving up…moving forward in the name of a higher purpose…factoring in the bigger picture.

A great analogy for life hey?

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I’d like to think this post was about more than cliches and cognitive hype though.

I’m 32 years old and the only reason I was able to make it this far…was from my innate instinctive development…allowing me the parameters needed for survival…continued further development…and existence in the first place.

Without those baby steps…adulthood would be no more than a pipe dream…especially if you stripped it down to a more naturalistic primal living condition.

If the steps work…in and under…the most important of circumstances possible…living…and they have…for thousands of years…consistently…then…they’ll work with and towards anything.

I know this to be true in my own mind…don’t even need the studies or the evidence for me to follow this mantra…as…I’ve experienced…felt…and lived the proof first hand…from numerous spectacular failures over the years…then…being able to turn those losses into wins.

When you really do think about…what has been described there…about the way we looked at…dealt with…and applied ourselves over our early years…as baby selves…if transferred…tinkered…and applied towards any single goal…dream…want…problem…or aspiration…right now…as developed beings…then…they will surely bring in a wealth of success…they have to.

What I’ve described to you…in my opinion…is the true formula of how to succeed in anything we wish to realistically pursue…but most importantly how to succeed in ourselves.

The sad thing…is…the majority of the data you look at in the year 2018…even just a quick analysis…of what is promoted to us and how we are promoted to live…shows…completely….in the most crucial domains…of our mental and physical health…the majority of us in society…have started to forget or have lost track of the value of baby steps.

That’s a completely proven…backed up statement…in so many ways it’s unreal…something…I’ve been guilty of many many times in the past when I was younger…and will still be guilty of within certain things to this day.

I’d think it logically sound and coherent to say we all have an area in our life or in ourselves we’ve lost track of the path…right now…right this second.

You…me…him…her…whoever.

Could be big…could be small…maybe essential…maybe insignificant…it’s part of the whole none of us are perfect thing I guess…and…would be boring if it wasn’t…nothing to learn…nothing to strive towards…drive me insane personally?

When taking this into consideration we also have to factor in that our current time is one of technology…comfort…ease…marketing…and consumerism…with us connected and being reached in ways the world has never ever seen…experienced…or been able to study properly before.

The world we are in is most definitely not about promoting mental or physical homeostasis as a natural being…and to think it is…to me…is to walk around with your eyes closed and fingers in your ears.

The stats on the current state of mental and physical health world wide illuminate this to the nth degree.

There are so many things for our brains to process in a day…so many distractions…persuasions…influences…opinions and emotional attacks…it can be so easy to get ahead of ourselves.

Once we develop…past those baby steps…there is now the room for stagnation and regression…which is where the true devil is in the detail.

Without what got us there in the first place…there is no ability to move forward…ever…with anything.

The required fundamentals need to be consistently…habitually…revisited.

It’s always a work in process.

What we tend do as human beings in this day and age for example…is we learn to crawl…learn…to stand…learn to walk…then…completely forget about them all for the rest of our lives…once they become a natural motor skill.

We progress to more advancement…once we progress to more advancement…we tend to forget that what got us there in the first place…is what really needs to be continuously developed and maintained.

Those motor skills are then taken for granted…brushed off as the normality of day to day living…as we try to concentrate on the billion other demands…expectations…and pieces of information bombarding our minds.

This is when and why we usually develop physiological dysfunction…compensation…postural deviation…pain…illness…injury…and issues…because…we forget all about what is needed to really be done to keep ourselves efficiently functional and fit for purpose.

It’s hard to sell the jazillion things they want us to buy…to people who don’t forget…which…is why distraction is imperative.

Overweight woman exhausted after a long run. Selective focus.

When you learn how to ride a bike…or skate…skip…jump…catch…or play football…it’s advancement on the basics isn’t it?

Advancement…but…every single motor skill and functional ability needed to crawl…needed to stand…balance and walk….is still required.

Not only are they still needed…they are still the complete basis for what it is we are now attempting…or doing…in the first place.

The better we are…the sharper we are…the more efficient we always are…at those basics…the better we will be at riding that bike…controlling those skates…shooting that ball etc.

The better we maintain…the better we continue…the better we overcome.

A structure should always be built on a foundation of support and integrity…it always comes back down to that…otherwise it falls apart.

Ignoring the baby steps is like building an extension on the side of a house with subsidence…in any situation you apply it to.

You injure your foot…your leg…your shoulder…can’t kick or throw that ball anymore…can’t ride a bike now.

Well…how do you get over it and get back stronger than ever?

By completely forgetting about the end result…by taking yourself away from it all…and going rightttt back to the start…back to the fundamentals to learn everything all over again from scratch…just like when you were a kid.

Unless it’s a specific…extreme trauma…then…the injury occurred at inception…from a sciolism towards the nuts and bolts of human neuromuscular movement…so…from there…to continue moving forwards once the shoulder/leg is better…we have to continue putting the essence of how and why the leg/shoulder/body works…before all else…otherwise…a cycle will forever continue…while the problems worsen…spreading…globally.

It’s exactly why we have a service and an M.O.T. test on our car…because no matter the engineering,…no matter the precision…speed…performance…make…model or power…it’s the baby steps that go into making the car run that matter…that keep us and others safe and alive on the road.

Could be a clapped out old banger…or a multi million machine…but if we don’t maintain the levels of oil needed…the correct pressure and tread in our tyres…drive it responsibly etc etc etc etc…then the car won’t run…or it will…until there is a problem that stops it or us in our tracks.

Let’s say…somebody is driving too fast…and skids on a slippy wet day…because they haven’t maintained their breaks or their tyres.

During that skid they smack and kill a pedestrian…which gets them sent down for manslaughter and dangerous driving.

What you think they going to be sat in that cell at night obsessing about…wishing they did?

They’re going to be wishing they could go back in time to put the baby steps before all else.

You can take everything I’ve said so far…and…I feel there isn’t a situation this is not relevant to.

Take a simple basic table?

You can put your most prized possessions on it can’t you?

A prized Faberge egg worth millions?

Before those millions are put on the table though…the baby steps will be assessed.

It’s the functionality that gives the object it’s name…not it’s name…that gives the object it’s functionality.

If I take one of the legs and start kicking it to the point it would snap before you got there…and on arrival the table looked like it was about to collapse…then…the prized possession would not be placed down…would it?

Wouldn’t even second guess it.

Why wouldn’t we apply the same ethos towards that table leg…towards…that car tyre…and a baby walking…in…running a successful business…dealing with depression…exercising the body…or maintaining a successful relationship?

All the same thing.

We have to break it down…and take ourselves out of the noise.

Its so easy to slip the eye off the prize…wanting…needing…craving…more…forgetting that…the only way to proceed is to focus on the rudiments…which…ultimately provide the end result desired.

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Take relationships….an area I’m still totttally learning about myself on my life journey…every single day…nowhere near perfect.

The words spoken so far…ring as true for this topic…as the others…echoing…throughout…every single crevice of it’s actuality.

I often hear of this fallacy they call the honeymoon period in which I refute?

It’s generally…universally accepted and believed in…but…when people speak to me about it…I tend to just switch off.

The reason for this description being such a misguided consensus…is because…in my opinion…in a nutshell…we are sold an unrealistic greetings card…American movie…fairytale…love poem ideology…of what a relationship is from the get go…from being kids.

Poor foundation…eyes blinded by the lights…straight off the bat.

To believe in a honeymoon period to me…is a lack of understanding of what the task is at hand…is…the admittance of us forgetting or being clueless about the baby steps needed for the future success.

If we honestly think the best…happiest…most enjoyable…years of our lives together…are at the very start…then it’s…nosediving from that point onwards…on a guaranteed collision course with failure…heartache…and anguish…I’m afraid.

To truly succeed in a relationship we must break away and disturb the conventional paradigm…the bells and whistles…and focus on the mechanics.

Togetherness with another is a genuine beautiful interaction…but still…staying with somebody for the rest of your life…for years and years and years…is one of the most difficult things mentally and physically a human being can possibly attempt…for many different reasons…especially in this day and age…whether people choose to admit that or not.

It’s hard enough to figure and sort out life on your own…let alone…with having to factor in another persons feelings and state of well being.

I’m far…farrr from the love guru…but…the way I see it is this.

Typically…people will get together and no matter how fast or slow it happens…it’s still an evolution regardless of the title…stage or cycle provided/given.

In our own personal unique individual ways…whether we realise or not….within that relationship…we crawl…we stand…we walk…we run…reaping all the benefits of the new found exploration and wonder…then…once in control of a bigger picture…it’s constant personal effort to maintain that level of efficient sustainability or progression from there.

A level of effort and dedication…that was hid from us or watered down from the beginning…one that will test the very infrastructure…and bedrock of our sanity…one that may even outweigh the initial wonder in the end.

To keep it all going…prospering…is to never forget where you both came from…why…and how…by paying homage to the basics of what got you together…and what made you want to stay…care for…and be able to tolerate each other’s individuals flaws…if at all.

Tolerate…sounds harsh…but in the truth and harsh reality of the real world…we are all massively flawed…which is amazing in it’s own right.

The honeymoon period is no more than the exploration of each other’s beauties and benefits…the first steps…the baby steps needed…to establish a bond…a connection…before both of your flaws start to become apparent or more noticeable…before…the real world starts to override the dream that’s been sold to us…and it’s time to dedicate…grow…learn…fail…change and adapt for the bigger picture…for the other person…and for yourself.

Time for the true hard work…time to take that initial labled period…and fight to keep it relevant for the rest of our days…no matter how hard it gets…or obscure it becomes.

By the point this all suddenly becomes apparent…on top…the difficulty level has been cranked up to maximum…with our minds now promoted to be focused too much on alll the areas we are needed to wander towards in a relationship to prove to the world…our coupled worth.

Social status…social hierarchy…social media status…conventional representation…marriage…weddings…rings…engagements…houses…bills…kids…cars…holidays…money…curtains…rugs…wallpaper…kitchens…pets…friendship circles…the list could keep goiiiing and goiiing.

It’s easier than not…to lose total track of what we were supposed to be together in our genesis…coexisting simply because society dictates that it should be normality.

Often it’s a battle of what you want to be…vs…what the world is trying to sell you both.

When looking at high levels of divorce…and break up rates…in this day and age…if we were to go further beyond than “He cheated”…“She’s a slut”…“Didn’t earn enough money”…“Didn’t listen”…”wasn’t motivated enough”…”Drank too much”…”Coke head”…etc etc…in 99% of instances…it’s the lack of understanding or acknowledgment of the baby steps needed to actually have that relationship in the first place…keep it intact…and be individually happy people…together.

Sometimes it works out…sometimes it doesn’t…and wasn’t meant to be…that’s life…but…still…to me…the honeymoon period is a denial of how much constant effort…forever…is needed to succeed…and from where the success comes from…or…just a manifestation of a lack of effort.

It was always as hard from the start…it’s just not as easy to see…admit…believe or identify.

Doesn’t matter if you just getting together or celebrating your golden wedding anniversary…it’s still the same game being played.

It really saddens me when people who have been together 30/40/50 years downplay that achievement as just being “What love is about.”

That’s some seriousss skill…resiliency…and dedication right there…not something we can all achieve…and something I salute if you have managed.

As I said…in this area I’m not perfect…still learning and growing myself…and constantly trying to keep those babysteps at the front of my mind.

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We draw on…closer to the finale.

We’ve spoken about relationships…tables…human movement…why not…being your own boss?

That’s a big topic too…something heavily promoted in this online world…and something I want to touch upon before ending with the example I believe fully proves the worth of this spiel.

Got a viable business…but it’s failing…nobodies coming through the door…nobodies buying your goods…expenditure outweighs income…you start to slip under…and you can’t see a way out…you’ve “Tried everything.”

You hear this more often than not…right?

Well if it’s viable…it’s failing…because…we need to forget about alllll the shit…and just throw it all out.

The basics are not being adhered to from a personal and or business perspective…and…the eye has been taken off the true prize.

If you break it down…right down…go back to the beginning in yourself…and the company…keeping those fundamentals alive every single second…you will make that business succeed…every single time.

Take a timelessly proven…basic…successful business strategy…that fits to the culture…the environment and ethos desired…backed by science…and what are the baby steps

Never be afraid of going back to the drawing board…I’m constantly going there…believe me.

I work with some really in depth complex issues in my soft tissue clinic.

There is only so much you can take in…process…and store for it…would…be physically impossible for anybody to ever fully capture the entire spectrum of science or physiology to memory.

Somebody asked me a basic question the other day…in my business…on a topic I hadn’t thought about in years.

I gave a decent enough answer…kind of…I suppose…but not one that did my skills any justice…or one that fully answered the question.

I second guessed myself then lost track.

It was great…hated it at first…then fell in love…as I always do when something like that happens.

A reawakening…a humbling…that reminded me to always pay homage to the baby steps…to never forget we are nothing without them and will never know it all.

Can spend our lives searching for an answer that was given to us the second we excavated the womb.

Break…it…down…and…pay homage.

I quickly realised a long time ago…across the board and in myself during my younger years…that when it becomes time to look in the mirror and actually try to progress or escape something as adults…it’s so easy to miss the ginormous elephant in the room…and not be able to see the wood for the trees.

To end…I…was told of such a heartbreaking…sad example the other day…that illustrates this point and this post exactly.

I don’t say this next bit…with ease or with callus…I say it with true…raw compassion…sadness…and a real want to help.

A mental health worker in charge of caring for suicidal people…in my city…committed suicide herself a couple of weeks ago.

Sounds very insensitive to say…but the truth is…regardless of the full reasoning for this terrible tragedy…we can’t allow ourselves to overlook the fact that somewhere along the line…both her and her employer missed the baby steps related to identifying…addressing…assessing…and managing that situation…completely.

I say that not out of insensitivity…to make assumptions about who that person was…or to downplay any condition or predisposition.

My heart goes out to her loved ones…but…we need to use these examples in positivity to see the 2+2.

So we stop it in somebody else.

A person coherent enough to learn how to…advise…guide…and help people through suicidal thoughts and depression…who has helped many people through….in an institute designed to do the same…fell folly to it herself?

Regardless for the reasons for suicide in the first place…the only possible physical way to prevent a case like this happening again…is by going back and admitting the fundamentals of the required areas needed to sustain…were either forgotten about…ignored…or overlooked.

From a personal…and employer outlook.

If we don’t…be that brutally honest…then…the probability of it happening again…in the same scenario…increases…and that isn’t acceptable.

De Niro in a Bronx Tale told us “The saddest thing in life is wasted talent” and he’s right.

We need to take the mistakes we all make…take the emotion out…and see the logic…the true value in them.

I can’t comment on the process in this situation or what they would have been…but…I do know the chance of survival in that situation could only have come from being taken out of the noise and referring to the baby steps.

Just shows you that even a specialised person in a specialised place can lose track…none of us are exempt.

It may seem obvious…or pointless to talk in such depth about this…but when you put it into the perspective of the situation above…it shows just how important this message is…and how much each and every single one of us should reiterate this to ourselves…and those we come into contact with.

Real Motivation…Not Your Usual Watered Down…Hype…PART 1

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MR CLEAVER

THE PIONEER OF MOVEMENT

Soft Tissue Specialist – Movement Analyst – Elite Performance Coach

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4 thoughts on “Real Motivation…Not Your Usual Watered Down…Hype…Part 2

  1. I really enjoyed reading this. I agree with the baby steps, and progressing forward. Along with the honeymoon stage about relationships. Most relationships end after the honeymoon stage. People can’t accept flaws and want the stereotype, the unrealistic standards society has shoved down our throats by commercials, print ads, billboards, etc. I think that once people accept the flaws, they accept that person, concept, etc as a whole and learn to love the flaws just as much. The flaws become the beauty, and shows that we are unique.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Been away for a bit! On my return…reading this…has galvanised me to the Nth degree.

      Thanks for this comment.

      We are moving with the same train of thought.

      It’s nice to know we have similar outlooks.

      Thanks for your kind words and your amazing input.

      Stay you!

      Liked by 1 person

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