Wow…just wow…Sometimes something hits you so hard that it stops you dead in your tracks…zones you out…motionless…leaving you in a moment of pure thought and feeling.
This is an out of the blue testimonial I just received from a client…her story…her vouching for my work…what strength to write this from the heart…and an inspiration to us all…I had no idea until now about the journey we had been on…and for her to share this story with me shows her true strength…I post this in the hope that it helps or inspires just one of you reading it…after all…we are all in it together.
THIS…is real life…in a world full of filtered distortion…this is a client that I personally train…do strength and conditioning work with and infuse elements of soft tissue therapy in to teach them further about their body and how it is functioning.
Things like this remind me how lucky I am to do what I do on a daily basis and be blessed to interact with such amazing…gifted people.
“It’s easy, at this time of year to look back and think about all the goals we didn’t achieve in 2016, the friendships we lost and battles we didn’t win. Sometimes it can be difficult to find the positives, the wins in life, but this year has been different.
Thinking back to New Year’s Eve two years ago I rung in 2015 arguing with my ex about the reasons I took an almost fatal overdose earlier in the year. The evening was then topped off with a stranger following me home, and once he had me in a quiet place, pinning me down and forcing one hand down my top whilst the other was finding its way round my underwear. It wasn’t the first time something like this has happened and it brought back memories I’d hidden away for a long time. It wasn’t really the party I had planned, or the best start to the year.
I spent a large portion of the year partying with friends, and going home with strangers. I didn’t care where I ended up or even if I woke up the next morning. Every time I did, I rolled out of bed, examined the cuts I’d given myself the day before, painted a false smile on my face and went about my business.
Fast forward to new year 2016 and I was, in all honestly, a mess. On the outside I looked the same as ever, all smiles and laughs. Always well presented and ready for anything. If you could see beneath the clothes you would see the cuts and scars covering my stomach. Peer even further and you could see my shattered self confidence and vulnerability. I didn’t really eat and sleeping was difficult. At the time I was confiding in a friend who looking back I realise was using my insecurities for his own gains.
I didn’t see a lot of the positives over the last two years but approaching 2017 I can happily say that’s changed.
I don’t know precisely when it clicked but I think it was whilst on holiday in Budapest. I was drunk, broke off from the group I was with and began wandering round the streets on my own, dressed in a child’s princess outfit with butterflies drawn on my face in green highlighter! I stopped to ask a man how to get the the Rave Cave, a bar in the hostel we had been headed to. He clearly took note of my drunk, lost state and proceeded to shove me down an alley, pinned me up against a wall and shoved his hands down my pants. Luckily at some point my brain kicked in, and on the promise of sex he took me in a taxi to the hostel. When the taxi stopped I sprinted out to the staff at the door, they took me in and warded the guy away. I think it was then I realised I couldn’t go on like this. I had to start taking more care, because this was a slippery slope I’d promised myself I wouldn’t fall down again.
I got back home and with a new mindset went straight back into the gym. I’d been doing PT with Lee for just over a year and the sessions normally made me feel good about myself. Training gave me something to focus on, and I realised this was the change I needed.
I tried harder than ever to make the two sessions a week. Even when I was feeling low I knew that hour would not only take my mind off my worries but Lee would pass on some of his positive energy, reminding me that everyday is a great day to be alive. The more I heard it, the more I believed and agreed with him. He reminded me it’s okay to be myself, fuck what other people think.
His mindset was starting to rub off on me and afterwards few months I stopped with the cutting and started to learn to love myself again. I was training hard, focusing on everything he told me. All the snippets of knowledge he passed on about which muscles were firing when, and how to get my form right for lifts. I wasn’t just getting fit, I was reprogramming my body and my mind.
I could start to see and feel change which helped me believe in myself again. I started to be able to look at myself in the mirror when I was exercising, something I could never do when we started because I hated seeing who was looking back at me, (and now I enjoy doing it probably a little more then I should!) With Lee’s help and encouragement I could push through every exercise he threw at me. Granted sometimes it took me a few goes to get it, but he put up with my stupidity and always found a way to explain it, wether it was “dinosaur arms” or “fairies” eventually the penny dropped. I gained the confidence to go to the gym alone, and not be worried people were staring at me in the free weights, or laughing at me on the bike. I walked tall with my head held high.
Looking at myself today I am a different person then I was a year ago, both inside and out. I altered my mind set and in turn changed my whole life. I have progressed to a place I never thought I would be. My body has muscles that I didn’t realise existed and now I know their names, what they do and how to work them. Training has helped me gain a lot more confidence both in myself and my abilities, which has transferred to everything I do, every aspect of my life. Most importantly of all, I’m happy and the smile on the face is real.
I truly am grateful for the part you played in this last year, wether you knew it or not you helped bring about the change that saved me from myself. #cleaverfit #true1% “